Six Months Until I Turn Forty (gasp!)

Today is April 16. This is a significant date. Why? It is exactly six months until my fortieth birthday.

Let's all let that sink in for a moment, shall we?

Before you stop reading this blog post, I want you to know that I'm not going to whine about turning forty. Actually, I'm pretty okay with the whole idea of being forty. Safely said from age thirty-nine and a half, of course.

Forty is going to be amazing, mainly because I plan on telling people that I'm seventy and then demanding that they tell me I look good for my age.

No, not really. It'd be pretty funny though.

I'm merely bringing my upcoming age up so you have time to get me an awesome present. I know what you are thinking: Doesn't someone with a Wonder Woman Snuggie and a bright red Batphone have it all? Most of the time, you would be correct, but we're talking about me and let's face it. There are some key items missing from my life.

Some ideas to consider:

• The giant pat of butter from Uncle Buck. Seriously. This is number one on my birthday list. Feel free to add it to your birthday list. It's a giant pat of butter for crying out loud. You know you want one too.
• A red Swingline stapler from Office Space. A red Swingline would look amazing in my Room O' Funk now, wouldn't it? To be honest, I'd never actually use the stapler. Psh, it's way too spiffy and cool to staple papers together. Nope, I'd frame it and hang it on the wall somewhere between my Davy Jones autograph and Lego mini Wonder Woman.
• The Jonah Hill Wham!mobile. It simply does not get any more 'me' than a pink Jonah Hill Wham!moblie. I would look so amazing tooling down my lane to the mailbox everyday. Amazing indeed.

In all seriousness, you don't need to look into purchasing any of the above items for me. A Target gift card will be fine. Just kidding. I pretty much have everything that I could ever really want: healthy family and friends, a few cartons of Breyer's ice cream in my freezer, and Pinterest.

Life is good.

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