Apparently I Have No Construction Skills

Today is a happy day - the construction dudes are at my house to start on the basement. They were supposed to start last week, but it had been raining and they couldn't do much with the ground being soggy.

Huh? What? Umm … hello? The basement is inside, so what difference does it make if the ground outside is soggy? I like to think I know a little bit about construction and the wonderful thing about working inside is that the weather outside is completely irrelevant.

Oh, and by 'knowing a little bit about construction', I mean I've been dragged against my will by my husband to a lumber yard. The yard also had some nails. And I've watched HGTV for years. I can pretty much (in my head) build anything. That is the extent of my construction knowledge base.

According to the contractor, the trucks delivering equipment and supplies need the ground to be firm in order to park in the yard. Oh, they're not parking for parking's sake. They are delivering heavy … I don't know … stuff and they don't want to have to carry it very far.

Hence the parking job.

I offered my assistance more than once to the construction dudes. I boasted a bit about my ability to measure once and cut twice, you know, just to be sure you're doing it right. Then I went 'heh heh … I meant measure twice and cut once'. They politely declined my help after that faux pas.

And once they learned that my construction knowledge is based solely on reruns of Trading Spaces, HGTV, and one trip to a lumberyard that also carried some nails.

What can I say? Some of us are more visionaries than actual doers. Clearly, I'm neither. BUT I do make a mean chocolate chip cookie and I can sing along (off key) to almost every song on the radio, no matter what the station is. I believe those are valuable skills necessary for building a basement.

They disagreed. I was politely asked to leave the basement. Again.

After being here for almost ninety minutes, two things have happened. One: some measurements were taken and not by me.

And two: the basement door was taken off its hinges and became a coat rack.

Now the construction dudes are gone. At first, I thought maybe they had gone to lunch. Then I realized that it wasn't quite 10:30 in the morning. I have no idea where they are or what their plans for this afternoon are.

I sincerely hope that they do not need my assistance this afternoon because I will not be home. I will be where I now believe that I will be most helpful: shopping for new linens and towels at Macy's. Pin It Now!