So far, I know you're impressed with what I've accomplish thus far. An art museum and the theater? How does she do it? A normal person would just leave the story there and not publicly acknowledge any mishaps or instances. But you've got me and, generally, I tell everything I know. And in case you haven't guessed it, something happened at the theater.
To be totally honest, something happened on the way to the theater, too. Dinner, actually. We decided to dine out (in style of course) before taking the whole fam to watch a live show. Being the health conscious, high fiber, low-cal, veggie lovin' people we are … we dined at 5 Guys Burgers and Frieds.
A primer for those not in the know about 5 Guys: it is amazing. The menu is small - just burgers, fries, hot dogs, and beverages - but mighty. The burgers are thick and juicy, prepared any way you want. The buns are soft, but not mushy and are the perfect accompaniment to the burger. The fries are freshly cut and cooked. There is even a marker board hanging on the wall telling you where today's fries come from (ours were from Idaho).
Some folks call it 5 Guys Bellies and Thighs. 'Cause it's the anti-health conscious, high fiber, low-cal, veggie lovin' kind of establishment. (Did I mention it's wonderfulness? Yum!) Anyhoo, the ambulance sitting out front of 5 Guys with it's lights flashing drove home the point that one should not subsist on 5 Guys alone. Fortunately no one was wheeled out on a stretcher with an EMT performing CPR on them. That would have made us reconsider eating at 5 Guys. Not because of any heart stopping high cholesterol foods, but because we had to get to the theater on time and someone lying on a stretcher getting CPR tends to slow down the food line.
Some people would consider an ambulance sitting outside a restaurant with its lights flashing to be a deterrent from eating there. Not us. Oh ho, not us! We're made of sturdier stock than that.
We arrived at the theater on time and settled into our seats. The theater itself was built in the '20s and has been beautifully restored. My only beef is that apparently people living almost a hundred years ago when the theater was built had no legs because there was thismuch leg room. The lack of leg room was about to become an issue when the girl sitting in front of me inexplicably lost her Bump-It.
Her boyfriend was making fun of her for wearing a Bump-It. I thought it looked lovely and very natural. It wasn't the largest Bump-It. It was the small one - a perfect choice for her 'do. Not entirely sure what the boyfriend's problem with the Bump-It was other than he was trying to give up smoking and he was cranky. The girl decided to appease her boyfriend by removing the offending Bump-It. Oh the things you learn when having no leg room and sitting thisclose to the people in front of you.
She took out her Bump-It and it flew from her fingers as if part bird. The two of them scrambled around on the floor looking for the Bump-It because the girl was "sooooo bummed, like fer sherr" about loosing the small Bump-It.
I'm happy to note that the wayward Bump-It was indeed found, retrieved, and tucked safely into the girl's purse. You will be delighted to know that she was no longer sooooo bummed, like fer sherr.
Her boyfriend went to put his arm around her in what I'm assuming was a comforting, I'm-sorry-for-being-a-major-jackwagon-and-insisting-that-you-remove-your-baby-Bump-It shoulder squeeze. Instead of squeezing her shoulder, he squeezed my left knee. And rubbed it gently. Caressed my left knee. For twenty full seconds. And he didn't realize his error until I yelped "Dude!".
If I had known that a night at the theater would include a light's flashing ambulance and a knee squeeze from a total stranger I would have bought season tickets years ago.
This has been my 2011 Cultural Update. Pin It Now!
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