A List of My Ten Most Recent Thoughts

It's been a while since I've posted a list of seemingly random and unrelated thoughts cluttering my mind.

I'm sorry. I know how you all love these lists.

What follows is a list of the next ten thoughts to cross my mind. Seriously. I'm going to type the next ten thoughts that I have.

Here goes …

1. I really need to clean the bathrooms. Wait.  That's not new. I always need to clean the bathrooms because I hate that job and I always put it off and the bathrooms rarely get cleaned. Grody. Probably shouldn't have typed that. Sorry.

2. How many times are you legally allowed to use the word "and" in the same sentence? Is it one time? Nine? What? I need to consult a web page or an English teacher about this matter. I'm pretty sure that my high school English teacher would be totally rolling over in her grave right now. Well, if she were deceased and all.

3. My 20th high school reunion is this Saturday. I'm seriously considering going. I'm seriously considering not going. I'm seriously considering going and wearing my old Prom dress. Of course, I can no longer squeeze into the thing so my only other alternative would be to wear it wrapped around my neck as some sort of sparkly scarf.

4. I'm 98% sure that I can not rock the homemade-Prom-dress-as-a-scarf look. I can't even rock Mom jeans from Target.

5. No one can rock Mom jeans from Target.

6. I used to be able to walk on my hands. I can no longer do this. Don't ask how I know this.

7. I used to be able to do a back walk-over. I can no longer do this. Don't ask how I know this. On a side note, what are your thoughts on chiropractors: real doctors or quacks?

8. I still regret introducing Ernest P. Worrell to my children. This just may turn out to be one of the biggest regrets of my life, right up there with not having a camera handy when I met Davy Jones of the Monkees and trying to do a back walk-over this morning.

9. Yesterday at the public pool a lifeguard passed out right in front of me. I don't know whether she succumbed to the heat or her blood sugar was low or a total hottie walked in front of her and she lost it, but I have one more reason to add to my list of reasons why God wants me to have a pool: the public pool just isn't safe anymore. Not even for lifeguards.

10. My last freak out was over two days ago. This might be a personal best and I fully expect to be interviewed by local media soon. I should go put on some lipstick. Crap. I own no lipstick. I should run to Target and buy some lipstick. Crap. This whole possibly being interviewed thing is totally mucking up my afternoon. But at least it gets me out of cleaning the bathrooms.

That's it. Those are the last ten things that crossed my mind. Who says my train of thought has no caboose? Pin It Now!