The Fine Art of Procrastinating

I am procrastinating. The bathrooms need to be cleaned and that is my least favorite household chore.

Give me dirty dishes! Give me rooms that need dusting! Give me laundry! I love laundry! But please, I beg of you, take the dirty bathrooms away!

In short: I loathe cleaning the bathroom.

I will do anything else to get out of cleaning the bathrooms. Even shop for groceries.

Once upon a time, grocery shopping was my least favorite chore. But then I realized something. It's grocery shopping, emphasis on shopping. And I like shopping. That and skeeball are the only sports I'm good at. Seriously. I will take you down at skeeball, but I digress.

Over the years, I've found a few tricks that help with the horror that

is cleaning the bathroom. Usually I put on some lovely yellow rubber gloves to go from fingertip to elbow. They are quite fetching and they keep my hands from touching anything grody. Like a glob of toothpaste in the sink.

And I crank the stereo because I've discovered that loud music makes housework go faster. The louder the better.

And you can boogie while you scrub.

I love to boogie …

Oh, I love the nightlife. I got to boogie on the disco 'rooooound yeah ...

Sorry. I really shouldn't listen to disco music. I blame my childhood.

Growing up I owned only two albums: Sesame Street Fever and Captain and Tennille's Greatest Hits. I loved Toni Tennille. Sigh. I still do.

Toni Tennille was my reason for being. And this haircut.

It could have been worse. I could have taken my fashion cues from the cover of the Sesame Street Fever album.

I could have had Bert hair. Or Ernie. Somehow, I just don't think I could have rocked either one of those looks, though I'm diggin' Bert's gold chains. That Bert. For a muppet, he was so fashion forward.

Wow. This was a procrastination of epic proportions. It's one for the record books.

However, I think I've procrastinated enough for one day. No, I'm not going to go clean the bathrooms now. It's too late for that. I'm out of time.

It's time to go pick up the 3rd grader for an appointment.

I successfully avoided cleaning the bathroom again.

Mission accomplished.

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