Whoopsie of the Week: Bananas

It has been an unusually productive week for me. I've managed to incorporate quite a few major blunders into just a few short days. Yep, I'm gifted. In the interest of self preservation, I have chosen to share only the most spectacular, wonderful, spazztastic, colossal whoopsie of the week and not all 75 of boneheaded things I said or did this week. 



I was shopping in the produce section at Target (the world's most bestest store ever) and I could not find the bananas. Anywhere. It seemed to me that the bananas had all disappeared. I seemed to living in a giant banana-free zone and, since I don't watch the news and am generally uninformed about the world, I wasn't aware of the banana embargo.


A lovely "Can I help you?" person noticed my obvious distress and she sauntered over to me.


"Can I help you?" she asked.


"Yes. I'm looking for some bananas," I said.


She rolled her eyes (mentally of course because all Target employees are well versed in proper etiquette and are the very visions of decorum), looked bored and said, "The bananas are right behind you." She pointed to a rather small display of organic bananas.


"Wait! No! I want regular bananas, not orgasmic ones!"


Oh. My. Orgasmic bananas? Can you say mortified? Why, oh why, do organic and orgasmic sound so similar? I think I'm cursed. And of all the fruits, too - bananas. Geez! The only food worse would be cucumbers and I don't even want to think about those right now. My mind is clearly in the gutter. And now the people of Target know it. I need help. I think I'm gonna explode.

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