In my head ...

In my head I'm …
… a really good singer, like Belinda Carlisle or Aretha Franklin
… really tall, like 5'3"
… so good at parallel parking that I give lessons


In my head I have …

… abs of steel. Buns, too.
… totally kick ass dance moves that don't look spastic at all or cause people to wonder if I'm having some sort of attack
… a crappy dramatic music app for my phone. App designers/computer geeks, are you listening to me reading this? I would pay up to $1.99 for a dramatic music app - seriously, call me.  $1.99 people. $1.99.
… the magical power of turning off lights from across the room. Screw the Clapper, I'd have telekinesis
… deep, deep dimples. We're talking crevasses here, people. Small children would get lost in them and their parents would go looking for them and then the parents would get lost. Dimples so deep that doctors, scientists, and NASA would get together and conduct studies on them. 
… have no cholesterol in my entire body brought on by 1.5 decades of eating Quarter Pounders. With cheese. And fries.


In my head I …
… get my news from CNN and not E!
… watch dignified shows like "Meet the Press" and "60 Minutes", not "Real Housewives of Orange County" and "Facts of Life"
… use words like nanotechnology, configuration, and preternatural in everyday conversation instead of woo hoo, seriously?!, and fart. Pin It Now!