I have news. Bad news.
I fear that the US Postal Service has done us a major injustice by not delivering my invitation to your nuptials in a timely manner. I'm 98% positive that my invitation was lost in the mail.
Now it is too late to make arrangements to attend your wedding. The flights are booked. The hotels are booked. All the good spots lining the streets are taken.
(*insert sobbing from both William and Kate)
