WARNING: Controversial Post About the Creepy Side of Christmas

Christmas is a fantastic holiday. It's right up there on the list of All-Time Best Holidays. But Christmas has a flip side, its creepy side. I've taken it upon myself to compile a list of traditional items that adhere more to the icky side of Christmas than the fun side. Chances are that I will offend you in some way or you may take umbrage with an item or two on my list. Sorry. But it's my list of Christmas ickies and I'm sticking to it.

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Things That Flip My Picnic Table (in a good way)

Remember the theme song to the Patty Duke show? The part that says "a hot dog makes her loose control"? I've always felt that applies to me. It doesn't take much to flip my picnic table and I've had a hot dog make me loose control a time or two. Here's an incomplete list of Things That Flip My Picnic Table (in a good way) … as of today. I hope that this list is always incomplete because you never know when some new gizmo is going to come along and well, flip your picnic table.

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I love a parade!

One of my favorite holidays is Thanksgiving. It's family, food, and football. What's not to love? Unless of course, you don't like your family, eating, or futbol americano. Then, my friend, you are in for a loooooong day. 

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And the winner is ...

The weather is getting cooler here in the Midwest and the frost is on the pumpkin. It's time to start thinking about that certain special time of year again … awards season. I look forward to awards season all year - the glitz, the glamour, the unpolishedness of a live show. I love to watch awards shows from beginning to end. From the pre-show red carpet arrivals right down to the last strands of the closing song. It doesn't really matter which award is being given that night, I watch them all. Even the Country Music Awards. And I don't really like country music.

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Ode to Taco Bell

We, as a nation, owe a huge debt to Taco Bell. Quit laughing, I'm serious. Sit up straight, put your feet on the floor, and pay attention. Taco Bell is a National Treasure.



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Brief+Vague=Annoying

Abbreviations are the bane of my existence. I don't like them. Never have. You know why? Abbreviations leave too much ambiguity. They are vague in make up and leave way too much up to the discretion of the receiver. 

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The Letter O for $200

The letter o is such a simple letter. Simple shape. Just a circle. O looks exactly like the shape your mouth makes when you say it's name. O. You're doing it right now, aren't you? Go ahead. You might look like a total mo-ron, but who cares? Make an o with your mouth. It'll make you smile. O is awesome. 



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Dramatic Music App

I need a dramatic music app for my iPhone.


Think about it: you successfully back out of the garage without hitting anything (or anyone) and you get a triumphant fanfare, like the theme for the Olympics. I know, right?! Fanfare is awesome. It could go with so many different situations: successfully navigating stairs in high heels, making it to the
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Shoes

Been thinking a lot about shoes today. No real reason why. Just thinkin' about shoes.

I like shoes, not in the Carrie-Bradshaw-Sex-in-the-City way, but I like shoes. Got several pairs. No real stand out name brand hot-cha-cha-cha shoes, but several really nice pairs. I guess the Midwest isn't really into Manolos or Jimmy Choos like other parts of the country. You're more likely to see women sporting duck boots or a sturdy pair of sandals for the summer than a lovely pair of red-bottomed, peep-toed Christian Louboutin shoes. Doesn't mean Midwesterners don't enjoy a snazzy pair of kitten heels, we just aren't ga ga over them.

The flaw in the slaw with shoes is that I don't actually like wearing them. GASP!! What?! Tis true my friends. I have dozens of pair of shoes that all happily smile up at me every morning looking like they are silently wishing for me to choose them to wear today. Only I rarely do pick them to be worn. Nothing personal. I just don't like wearing shoes. Wish I did, but I don't. It's not like I have hauntingly attractive feet that I'm compelled to show off and therefore I refuse to cover my adorable tootsies up with shoes. I simply don't like wearing shoes. Guess I'm a barefoot kinda girl. Pin It Now!

The First Blog

My first blog entry … wow! Who'd have thunk it? People have been telling me for years to chronicle my (often) random, (often) sarcastic, (often) comical and (sometimes) deep thoughts. Being the courteous person I am, I completely blew them off. But a seed was planted and here I sit blogging.

It's kinda weird and uncomfortable (like the first time you put on long sleeves after a hot summer), but I kinda like it. To me, blogging is like having a one way conversation. I like having one way conversations.  Fewer arguments and less interruptions that way, but no really graceful exit when you put your foot in your mouth. And at some point I usually put my foot in my mouth. More than once.

Well here goes … I'm going to take a deep breath, close my eyes, and jump into the unknown waters of writing down my mindless musings. Hopefully the water feels fine. Pin It Now!