Amusing Myself On An Eighty-One Degree Day

Do you see this?

Eighty-one degrees, people. Eighty-one degrees. On March 14. In Indiana. This weather is, like, so boss. The afternoon was as delightful and wonderful as you could possibly imagine: warm and sunny with a slight breeze. Totally my kind of day.

The only flaw in the slaw was me wearing my shorts, thus blinding everyone within a half mile radius with my light bulb white legs.

You're welcome for that image.

I was outside for the better part of two hours yesterday doing yard work … pulling weeds … pruning the fruit trees ... spreading mulch … and … other manual labor type stuff.

Alright, alright. I was sitting in a chair reading a book. A very cool, interesting, macabre, fascinating, and often hilarious book about human cadavers.

As in dead folks.

I know, I know. The girl who got weirded out watching 'Moulin Rouge' is reading a nonfiction book about corpses. I can't really explain it other than the expression 'peel an onion because there are a lot of layers'.

Off and on for the past week, I've been reading the book 'Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers'. It contains some pretty interesting snippets of information that my husband has had enough of hearing about at the dinner table. He's officially outlawed any of the following topics of conversation:

1. What happens when one donates his or her body to science
2. How much the human brain resembles that of a six month old Jersey cow
3. The pay scale for body snatchers in the 1700s compared to other occupations of the day
4. From what altitude one must have fall in order to literally have his or her clothes blown off
5. The dollar amount the FAA puts on a human life
6. How many degrees per hour a dead body cools until it reaches the air temperature
7. True or false: Dead people can fart

My husband can be such a buzzkill. However, he did display the appropriate amount of sympathy when he noticed the slight sunburn I received from my two hours in the sun reading about dead people farting. And for that I'm very appreciative.

I hope you all get a chance to get outside and do whatever makes your skirt fly up in this kind of weather. Just wear some sunscreen.

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