March Madness

My husband and I introduced our children to the fine art of gambling on our last vacation when we taught them how to play poker, using pretzel M&Ms in lieu of money. It's all part of what I call their 'fall back plan', meaning if college or their current career choices (one wants to be an international rock star and the other one some type of technological wizard) don't work out, well then at least they have gambling skills to fall back on.

It occurred to me that March provides yet another opportunity to teach valuable gambling skills to my offspring. This time in the form of sports betting, namely the NCAA Men's Basketball Championships.

Earlier this week, I coerced my family into filling out the basketball tourney brackets. I told them it would be fun and the winner could pick his or her favorite dessert as the prize.

Each one of us filled out a bracket in complete privacy, so to avoid any influence upon any other family members. That's code for 'Dude, Don't Copy Mom's Brackets'. Seriously. I really don't like it when others copy my paper. That and when making my picks, I use a specially blended cornucopia of tricks in conjunction with my intuitive genius that I don't want anyone to decipher.

Some folks will tell you to make your picks based upon a statistical analysis of athletic ability. Some will say history plays a role. Others will tell you that snazzier uniforms win more games than plain Jane uniforms or the team with the fancier name will win.

Ha!

Fools.

I say you are all wrong. Well, with the exception of the snazzier name thing. Then I think you might be on to something.

One trick I will give away (and feel free to use it when picking one sports team over another) is to read both options, close your eyes, and which ever one you think of first will be the winner. I like to call it harnessing the power of the universe.

My husband calls it ridiculous.

And I believe that harnessing the power of the universe is a far more accurate way to pick the outcome of a sporting event than say, a statistical analysis of the athletic ability of the teams. Come to think of it, closing my eyes and letting the universe pick is my go-to method of making major life decisions, too, not just sports.

Which explains my 1985 perm.

But I digress.

To date, my oldest child has correctly picked more winners than anyone else in the family. Currently, I'm in second place, my husband is in third, and the youngest daughter is in fourth place. She picked Duke to win it all and sadly, Duke was ousted in the first round. To quote her: 'Oh man! Duke just lost! Well I can kiss that solid chocolate bunny at Target goodbye now!'

Homegirl had already picked out an enormous solid chocolate rabbit from the array of fine Easter eats at Target last week as her prize. She is currently trying to get me to change my mind to an enormous solid chocolate rabbit from the array of fine Easter eats at Target as my prize.

Then I can share it with her, of course. I said no. This lesson is about how to be an effective gambler, not how to share. Sometimes it's not about money but about racin' for pinks, man.

I'll keep you posted on who wins the bet. It'll probably be me since I used my special blend of powers and harnessed the power of the universe to make my picks.

And before you get too annoyed with me about the solid chocolate bunny, don't worry. I have it on good authority that she'll find one of those bad boys in her Easter basket. Pin It Now!