A Sinus Infection Justifies Eating Two Breakfasts

My cold returned with a vengeance on Friday and it is still hanging on like a magnet to a fridge, so I made a date with a doctor. The doctor came into the exam room, listened to my symptoms, shoved a looky thingy in both ears and up my nose before declaring that I have a sinus infection.

Doctor: How long have you had this cold?
Me: Originally, I had it about ten days and then it went away for about three or four days. It returned with a vengeance on Friday.
Doctor (stroking imaginary beard): Ah … classic sinus infection. It masquerades as a cold for about a week, week and a half, and vanishes for a few days. Then WHAM! It comes back to knock you on your ass. That's how you know it's a sinus infection … sorry if the word ass offends you.
Me: The word ass offends me only if the preceding words are 'Look at that jiggly lady's giant …' and someone's pointing a finger at me.

While at the pharmacy getting my prescription filled, I'm informed that one of the medications is a steroid to which I have the same reaction everyone else has when hearing that they are taking a steroid, 'Sah-weet! I'm gonna be, like, so buff! Totally ripped! Hot cha cha cha.'

There may or may not have been a little Jersey Shore fist pump action. Ahem.

I asked the pharmacist if I would get immediate relief upon taking the medication, which I fully intended to down in the parking lot (junkie style), before I even got into my car.

Pharmacist (chuckling): No, you won't get immediate relief, but you will start to feel better tomorrow or Wednesday.
Me: Seriously? Oh man. Well, if I don't get immediate relief, at the very least, will this medicine make me drop ten pounds or improve my vision?
The pharmacist gave a big belly laugh and then she stopped laughing rather abruptly.
Pharmacist: Excuse me. I think I just laughed so hard I peed a little. Make sure you take the medication with food or milk. And be sure to drink plenty of fluids.
Me: Well that's a little ironic considering your current situation.

I took her advice to take the medicine with food and to get plenty of fluids by popping through the McDonald's drive thru to get my second breakfast of the day: a biscuit and a large Diet Coke.

I prefer to think of it as turning lemons into lemonade rather than me being a glutton. Pin It Now!