The Duke, Jimmy Buffett, and Elmo

Did you know that there is a man in Las Vegas who specializes in John Wayne memorabilia? Knowing everything about The Duke is this man's job? As in he makes money zipping around the country telling folks if they own a gen-u-ine John Wayne hat or spur or whatever. People listen up. This is a job. You know what this means? My high school guidance counselor sucked eggs.



There are ALL KINDS of rockingly awesome jobs out there and I knew of NONE of them in high school. This. Is. Appalling. I am seriously honked here. I could have majored in John Wayne at college,for cryin' out loud. Where, oh where, was the guidance, Guidance Counselor?


Sidenote: majoring in John Wayne would make more sense if I were a huge fan. A Wayne-iac so to speak. But that is beside the point.


I would LOVE to be an expert on something. And have someone pay me for my knowledge. Getting paid is key. Now that I'm thinking about it, I do have extensive knowledge of two subject areas: John Hughes films and Jimmy Buffett lyrics. Enough to make me an expert. I just need to figure out how to market this vast and keen intellect. I am aware that this is a very niche market. Nonetheless, let me know if you are in the market for such expertise. 


I have taken the liberty of making a short list of way cool jobs in which I would be perfect. And yes, these are actual jobs.

1. Seat filler at an awards show (I do so love an awards show!) 

2. Runway model coach (no brainer - I can kinda, sorta walk in a straight line)

3. Pyrotechnician (love, Love, LOVE fireworks)

4. Writer of trivia questions (pulling in my Hughes and Buffett knowledge)

5. Nail polish or lipstick shade namer (Embarrassed Elmo Red, anyone?)

Now I'm just gonna sit back and let the offers come rolling in.

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