Ode to Taco Bell

We, as a nation, owe a huge debt to Taco Bell. Quit laughing, I'm serious. Sit up straight, put your feet on the floor, and pay attention. Taco Bell is a National Treasure.



You could argue that the food isn't all that good or good for you. I. Don't. Care. There is a definite niche to be filled by offering a 7-layer burrito at 2 o'clock in the morning. Through a drive-thru window. Love the drive-thru window! Got a hankerin' for something meaty, cheesy, and crispy? Taco Bell drive-thru window to the rescue. And you don't even have to stumble out of the car. Genius!


My culinary tastes might have changed over the years and my jeans prefer that I have a nice salad with lo-cal Ranch dressing at home instead of a Mexican pizza (no tomato) at the Bell, but my love affair with Taco Bell continues for one simple reason: the spork.


For those of you currently living under a rock, a spork occurs when a fork and a spoon fall in love, get married, and have a baby. Rarely before has a union produced such a perfect offspring. As a matter of fact, a heavenly light beams down and angels sing whenever the plastic wrapper is ripped off of a new spork at participating Taco Bells. 


In the interest of fairness, KFC may have offered sporks long before Taco Bell, but my introduction to the finer side of flatwear was at the local T-Bell. Ahh, I remember it well. 


It was the mid-80s. I had big hair and even bigger glasses. I remember sitting down with my tray of goodness (aka Nacho Bellgrande) at the local T-Bell and visually taking in my feast. I took a big bite of nachos and thought that something was off with my dining utensil. "This is no ordinary fork," I thought. After closer examination, my initial puzzlement turned to great admiration for I realized that I wasn't noshing with an average spoon, but a bizarre spoon/fork hybrid. I was enthralled. I was intrigued. I was smitten. I was in love with a spork. I still am.


The spork is so complete in it's awesomeness that it's used in prisons. Prisons! They have all the best stuff in prison! I must admit that I am a wee bit surprised. I figured that a spork could be fashioned into some kind of wicked super-shiv, but maybe the plastic handle breaks off at inopportune times. Handle breakage is a downside to the spork. Quite possibly the only downside.


Were you aware that for a mere $8.99 (US dollars) you can purchase a titanium spork? Holy crap - $8.99 (US dollars)?! For a titanium spork?! A bargain at twice the price. 


Though my love affair with Taco Bell may have waned in recent years (fortunately so has the bigness of my hair and glasses), my affection with the spork lives on. Go on now - think outside the bun, order some pintos and cheese, get a complimentary spork, and say a silent "thank you" to Taco Bell for being open late and for bringing sporks to the masses. Pin It Now!