The Horn Is The Lesser Of The Two Evils

I went for a run outside this morning. Sure, it was 10:30 and already eighty-two degrees, but I feel that I function better when the temperature is over eighty. Nutty, but true.

My youngest child decided that she wanted to ride her bike next to me as a ran. Since I don't like running by myself, this sounded like a good idea to me. A little mother/daughter bonding coupled with some backup in the form of a ten year old in case something crazy goes down. Perfect.

Things started off well. Together, we devised a plan on what she should do when a car approached us. This lead to a quick discussion on what to do if a car aims at us, which lead to a brief chat on what to do if/when an animal attacks us.

What can I say? She may or may not have inherited my particular brand of 'being alone in the country' paranoia.

The first mile and a half of our run/ride was into the wind. Few things suck more than running into the wind … running into the wind with dead animal smell to accompany you would top this list. Fortunately the only smell around was us.

Well, maybe that isn't so fortunate.

Running into the wind zaps my energy. It really does. I couldn't keep up my normal running pace for the second mile. I gradually slowed down enough that I was going at a fast walking pace. This seriously annoyed my partner.

At first, she tried saying encouraging words to get me to speed up, but I kept whining that I had no energy.

She got a little tougher, but I kept whining that I was hot and sweaty and needed a big drink.

Then the run took a downward turn when, from very closely behind me, I heard the distinct toot of the horn on a certain ten-year-old's bicycle.

The sound startled me. It was right behind me.

I leaped a solid seven feet straight up into the air.

I loudly uttered a phrase that may or may not include a mild curse word.

I whirled around to see my child, my baby, my Mini Me, laugh so hard that she fell off of her bike.

The rest of the run/ride home was peppered with her laughing and asking me if I saw how high I jumped. Then more laughter ensued. It was a vicious cycle. Laugh, ask, laugh. Repeat.

I do not need this kind of aggravation. I'd prefer to run alone, but I'm more afraid of a pervert in a Camry than I am annoyed at a little horn honking.

Clearly, the horn is the lesser of the two evils. Pin It Now!