PBS Is, Like, So Thought Provoking

I had a New Year's-ish goal of firming up my reality show rotted brain by watching more intellectual stuff like PBS. I even picked a show that I would watch: The American Experience.

So far, so good. I've watched every episode that I have on the ol' DVR (except the one on whaling and the second half of the Amish one). And (in my opinion) watching one documentary on a subject, any subject, pretty much makes me an expert on the matter. Currently, I'm an expert on Billy the Kid, Annie Oakly, Jesse James, the first half of Bill Clinton's life (it was a rerun and the second, more … um … more interesting half of his life hasn't been rebroadcast yet), the Freedom Riders, General Custer, and my personal favorite, Tupperware.

The Tupperware episode is far and away my favorite. I don't know if it's because Tupperware is uber cool or because it burps and I kinda dig things that burp.

And Tupperware totally appeals to the inner 1950s housewife I channel on occasion. Yep. I, on occasion, channel an inner 1950s housewife and wear high heels and a strand or two of pearls to serve pot roast to my loving family.

No, not really.

I'm just messing with you.

Know what's on the other end of the spectrum from burping food storage systems? The Amish. I'm halfway done watching the episode on the Amish. It's pretty riveting stuff. I'm only halfway through watching it because I was watching with my husband and he kept getting annoyed every time I announced that I'm almost Amish. The similarities are striking.

PBS: The Germans came here, thought the land looked like Germany, so they stayed.
Me: Did you hear that! I'm German, too! I could so be Amish. I'm probably, like, half Amish.
Husband: Lots of people in America are of German descent and they're not Amish.

several minutes of the show pass

Amish Man on PBS: We haven't bought into American consumerism. Staying with the horse, for instance, has determined the distance we travel. It's preserved all the small towns, that's where we go to do business. You go outside Amish communities in the Midwest …
Me (pausing the show): Hey! I'm from the Midwest! First the German thing, now the Midwest. Ha! I could so be Amish.
Husband: Lots of people are from the the Midwest and are not Amish.
Me (unpausing the show to cut off Mr. Logical): Shh! I'm learning about my Amish heritage here.
Amish Man on PBS: … small towns are all dying because there's a Walmart on the outskirts siphoning all of that money out of that community and overnight into Arkansas.
Me: DID YOU HEAR THAT?! The Amish don't like Walmart and I don't like Walmart! In fact, I loathe Walmart! German, Midwest, anti-Walmart. That's it. I'm definitely Amish.
Husband: Lots of people don't like Walmart and they're not Amish.

a few more minutes of the show pass

Anthropologist on PBS: (Neighbors) didn't like the Amish because they didn't want telephones.
Me: Didja hear that? They don't want telephones! I can't stand telephones either! Been afraid of them for years. Years. Ever since Nightmare on Elm Street. Wow. I can not be more Amish!
Husband: Sigh. You are not Amish.
Me: Well, not totally. I wear jeans with zippers and drive a Honda and stuff. That makes me half Amish. I think.
Husband: You are not half Amish. You are not any Amish at all.
Me: I could be.
Husband: No, you couldn't.
Me: Yes, I could. I could totally be Amish.
Husband: You couldn't be Amish because they don't watch Real Housewives.
Me: When you're right, you're right. I could so not be Amish. I love my Housewives too much.

I'm totally digging The American Experience and I've learned so much from watching PBS. My brain is, like, huge now because it's full of knowledge. For example, I've learned that I would so not be friends with Jesse James. Not even a little bit. He's kind of a turd with a gun and bullets, which is not my type of friend. But I could be friends with Annie Oakley and the Amish. They would be fun to hang with. Not at the same time, obviously. I could be occasional friends with General Custer. I say occasional friends with him because I believe him to be a tad crazy. I do like a little crazy in my friends, but too much crazy (like Custer) wears me out.

Aren't you glad we had this little discussion? Wow. Who knew PBS could be so thought provoking?
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